All in the Act of Becoming
October 2nd, 2009
Life and death,
a twisted vine sharing a single root
A water bright green
stretching to top a twisted yellow
only to wither itself
as another green unfolds overhead
One leaf atop another
yet under the next,
a vibrant tapestry of arcs and falls
all in the act of becoming.
Death is the passing of life.
And life
is the stringing together of so many little
passings. ~ Rabbi Rami M. Shapiro
We watch September skies become a deeper blue, and feel a new edge in the wind. We are keenly aware that Summer’s party is nearing an end. The gradual and beautiful decline of our full-leafed trees keeps our eyes ever upward, taking in the vibrancy of color.
Autumn. Such a symbolic time. Everything in nature is dying, only to return again next Spring. Rejuvenated and yet, not quite the same.
This is the time to contemplate what is “dying” inside of us. For some, what is dying is unplanned and undesired. My friend, Rob, for example, has just been notified that he has lost his job as Executive Director of an organization he was devoted to heart and soul. Another friend, B.J., is recovering from the loss of what to many women is the essence of her femininity with the radical removal of a cancer-filled breast.
For these friends and many like them, there is little choice in the situation. Only how best to deal with it. And they deal — perhaps bravely or with hand-wringing, with faith or fists raised, alone or through the help of friends.
For the rest of us, we have a choice in this season: We can choose to intentionally “die” to the thing that no longer serves us, in the act of becoming.
What no longer serves you? What do you know deeply in your heart that you must walk away from?
We ALL know our own opportunities — the mind chatter of our 2AM restlessness reveals them to us.
Is it medicating away our stress (call it fears) through the happy haze of martinis or beer?
Is it hanging on to a relationship that only drains us and turns us bitter?
Is it neglecting our holy bodies in sessions of binge eating?
Is it as simple as telling ourselves small lies so as not to stand up for what we believe?
What is nudging you for resolution?
The Importance of Ritual
If you feel the readiness to surrender that thing that no longer serves you, congratulations! This is a courageous act. One that begs for ritual to signify its importance.
I use rituals all the time. They help to solidify my intent. For example, when I realize I am in a work-related funk (of whatever sort or cause); I leave my office for the kitchen, and make myself a cup of Sweeten the Mind tea. [It happens to be the byline on the Vanilla Almond flavor made by The Republic of Tea.] In this small act, I am filled with intent — to shift and reframe my mood to one of calmness and sweetness. And no surprise the power of intent — it works!
I invite you to consider a form of ritual to honor and solidify your letting go process.
Exercise:
Carve out some time for yourself and simply stop the doing of things. Just be still in contemplating what it is you wish to let go of. Be in an appreciative space in thinking about the behavior, issue or situation. Think about how it has helped you learn and grow. Now take a walk outside. Sometimes the splendor of nature can help us in our letting go process. My friend, Anne Fitzgerald would say, “when you feel heavy, give your heaviness to the rocks because they can carry that heaviness.” Find something that can be symbolic of your letting go (examples: a decaying leaf or twig). Blow into it what you want to let go of. Journey to a stream, the ocean, or even a high place without water. Release your symbolic object — with silence or a word or chants or screams — whatever feels right to you.
As the beautiful poem by Rabbi Shapiro suggests, “life is the stringing together of so many little passings.” This season of decay and dying, as colorful as it is, a will result in a stark landscape of grays and browns. Dying is necessary in order for the cycle of rebirth to continue in spring. Dying is necessary in order to make space for something new. Something better. More aligned with who you are now, or who you are becoming.










